Right right right.
I HAVE ARRIVED
Not that anyone cares.
Oh well.
Im with someone tonight. who is very annoyingally fast forwarding just about EVERYTHING.
So we get the credits, I dont even get to see the "ITS TIME, TO FACE THE MUSIC" pun!
I get a quick glimse of the judges wearing, it becomes clear that Danni and Rachel have been swapping hair tips, but Danni's fails epically.
So first up we have: LUCIE.
Last week, Leona, this week Whitney. they are trying to kill the poor girl.
Lucie dancing, trying to cope with Whitney. I now concur that the girl is getting a secret bottom two ploy agaisnt her. or maybe because danni got a new hair trick, its a ploy to save Rachel.
Lucie takes the stage, OK THEY ARE KILLING HER, who holds a mic while dancing? cmon Simon, are you that cheap you cant afford a head mic, yet when it comes to your BATH IN THE STUDIOS, its all green light time!
"Im going to hand you some credit tonight" oh Simon, you do spoil a girl.
She did well, but shes not breaking through for me. she needs a powerhouse song.
Next in line for judge time is OLLY MURS.
Oh i love this dude.
Even the Robbie Williams loves this dude. and he pulls off the hat trick better than ol' Rikki boy.
Hes worried. Cheryls worried. Simon thinks its big, but hes cracked it. but whats new, hes simon cowell.
Olly takes the stage, and man does he deliver. I almost feel proud.
And then Simon just ruins it all with teh smug smirk..and IT GETS WORSE
"This is why all the contestants want to be mentored by me" oh SIMON. and then to make sure nobody thinks hes gay, he sayssomething along the lines of "this is the person we fell in love with, oh i didnt literally fall in love with you" ahh bless him, the big 50 has turned him paranoid. He also says Ollys performance was in a different league. bit harsh considering hes second, and poor old Lucie knows she hasnt got the COW onside. why accentuate it more?
the other judges seem to agree, and its all happy harmony. I personally miss Louis. I need someone to be mean to.
Next next is...MISS FRANK.
I dislike them. Specially the ADD excited rapping one who is usually in the middle. Cba to go through their VT, they annoy me. and oh dear.
weak performance.com
they werent together. the girls heap the praise on, Simon pops the bubble, Cheryl goes all old school chav-get-rude on us. then Simon just totally owns her in his statement. and to make it clear they have chemistry, the rapping one lays her head on the bookend next to her. beautiful. wiping the tears.
RACHEL TIME.
I love this girl. shes sweet, and i really hope theres no more bottom two for a while. be warned rachey, COW voted you out last week. he wanted you gone! shocking. he voted with mini simon just cause there were strippers on offer, and if they dressed em in leather this week, who knows what next week brings :O
Rachels very laugh inducingally falls to the ground in awe as Whitney- Ihaveclearlyhadbotoxcauseicantsmile Houston walks in, and then it is revealed she is singing I i weere a boy.
Oh god.
And they started her off on the floor. way to shoot a girl to the ground, OH WAIT SHES ALREADY THERE.
She pulls off a good song, couple of bum notes, and Simon honestly tells her she didnt like it, and Danni doesnt understand her. Danni and Cheryl gang together in the "I dont like COW critiscing my mentoring skills time" club, and Danni tells Simon hes jealous. Oh I agree. why would he want a group of talented men like Danyl, Olly and Jamie when he could have the Girls, the Boys or the groups!
JOEE
Ive always liked him.
He got rave reviews last week, i downloaded no regrets and keened it for a week aswell.
You get his home videos, oh bless he has really lost the puppy fat! Hes all smiles about his song, but the others are a little worried. Simons got his smirk on, but also agrees that if Joe pulls this off, he will be worried.
Joe delivers a FLAWLESS rendition of "Where do broken hearts go" and we know Simons heart is broken, the dark horse is heading forwards, and Simon tells him what a great vocal it was, and im in shock a 18 year old boy can do that song so well!
the girls also agree, but Simon tells him to learn how to perform. (Take some tips off the high-kick twins maybe?)
OH OH OH. I THINK DROOL JUST WENT DOWN ME. ITS THE ONE AND ONLY DANYL.
He talks about being seen as cocky. god cheryl all he did was knock down a microphone stand. at least he can sing. Simon says hes not being cocky, and he has released a few statements saying that the other judges are messing with his head because hes competition, and they are making themselves look stupid (see digitalspy.co.uk for more info)
Oh COW, real smooth, give my boy a UNKNOWN WHITNEY SONG.
Botox queen seems unimpressed. what does she know, ok he did loose the melody.
Cheryl stands by her statement.
Well i stand by my statement you cant sing, LOSER.
DANYL delivers an AMAZING performance, and the raw emotion nearly moves little old me to tears. Danni says "welcome back Danyl" and I agree, and he did another one of those NOTESS I LIKE. (the big ones)
Its all aboard on the "iloveDANYLJOHSONTRAIN" and ZOMG, as im writing this, hes trending on twitter. Melissa Walton has told people to retweet if they love @Danylajohnson (his twitter)
I agree girl.
Chris fountain is unsure though. oh chris.
Danyl seems very held back in his emotions, obviously because he doesnt want judges slating his personality. fair enough dude. Simon gives a standing ovation, and I think i see more than one judge on their feet. they all loved it. SO HA IN YOUR FACES HATTTERS.
LLOYD.
Not sure on him yet.
oh cheryl, you twit. LEONA? Simons comments will be drop pan then.
He seems just as worried as us viewers at home, and pouts a little.
He sings as well as he can for what he got.
the judges dont really like it, well COW i mean. he totally blames the "woman on his right" oh dear Chez. oh god, shes CRYING. And Lloyd hugs her, and tells her not to be upset. well, at least LLOYD our love is no longer in danger, the hug, which was endearing and at the same time gettiing the sympathy so lloyd wouldnt leave our screens. smooth move chez, talk about two birds with one stone.
YES, JEDWOOD.
Been waiting for them all night!
eww, my thumb just dislocated again. that is grim. ahhh ok, its back in place, let the typing commence.
OMG.
BRITNEY SPEARS.
THE DANCING TO THE PIANO.
OH LOUIS YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER DUDE.
They come on stage and.. RED PVC TO REPRESENT BRITTTERS VIDEO. Oh god this is good! the judges look on in pure horror/ bemused looks, and LOLL, THEY RENACTED THE "I GIVE THIS TO YOU" DIALOUGE. their matching dancing, OH IM CRYING WITH LAUGHTER, AND THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ARE HAVING FUN.
Simon looks like someones farted and hes not sure whether to find it funny.
LOL, the judges arent too harsh, and the britney fun is over.
I couldnt take much more, i almost died laughing the first time.
AHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM.
RIKKI.
If this guy stops crying, I'll love him.
YES, no VT crying. good boy.and no hats. great boy.
He looks modern tonight, another dodgy song choice from the chez, but him and Lloyd have pretty small ranges, so its not all her fault, although she looks crestfallen when Simon points out its a bad song choice, and hes just not FEELING IT.
Oh dear Rik-ster.
JAMIE, COME ON.
I love him.
He even had a afro when younger.
Double love
Hes singing Hurt
Triple Love.
Nobodys sure, and its the hardest song to sing. Well thats great.
Jamie says people are going to be surprised.
Cool man, just cool.
ANOTHER AMAZING OVER 25 PERFORMANCE.
Oh Jamie, did you go and high five Simon? Your gonna be seen as cocky now! you look proud. oh oh, your gonna get the Danyl treatment.
Thankfully he doesnt, but if Louis was there, it would be different. The judges love it. Simon looks like the cat with teh cream.
STACEY SOLOMAN.
LOL I love this girl. Her VT cracked me up
"it'll be better without whitney and clive staring at my face" LOLLL. and when her twelve year old wedding singer self is shown, "embrassing"
OK, she acts like she has ADD. but its funny.
She has a song you can tell she doesnt really like.
And she gets on stage, you can tell shes not happy with the "im a girl" dress shes wearing, along with the pink eyeshadow. I see they have changed her hair aswell.
She sings beyonce with soul and passion, but thats not good enough for COW, who points out she was uncomfortable. Danni and Cheryl bond with Stacey-ISMS.
And thats it, the XFACTOR IS OVER.
performance rating--
1) DANYL,
2) JAMIE
3) JOE
4) OLLY
5) STACEY
6) JEDWOOD (MEMORABLE, FUNNY)
7) RACHEL
8) LUCIE
9) LLOYD
10) RIKKI - STEP IT UP I LIKE YOU.
11) MISS FRANK- AS TONE DEAF AS KANDY RAIN GIRLS.
Over 25s smashed it.
Agree with some of your points but not all here is my comments on this week and the results.
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